I’ve spent enough time traveling to see people, often expats but certainly travelers (especially long-term ones), get territorial about a place or the experience of travel. It’s like there is intense competition for who has been the most places, who is a “traveler” and not a “tourist,” and who has the most experience in a given location. Many expatriates believe they know more than any other foreigners and have earned the right to condescend to anyone who hasn’t lived at least 15 years in a place, so they tend to win travel conversations. Other winners are long-term travelers, and people who have spent more than the average amount of time in a location. But anyone can win a travel conversation! Here are sure-fire tips for winning, no matter who you’re talking to.

Note: if you begin the conversation with the assumption that the other person has any travel experience or location knowledge, you’ve already lost.
• Start talking about a place before you’ve been asked, or even engaged in conversation.

• Be sure to mention either how long you’ve been in xx place, or how long ago you traveled there. Bonus points if you were there “before it changed” or “back before there were any tourists.”

• Talk about how much you hate Lonely Planet and other guidebooks.
• Pronounce cities with a local accent: if you’re American, you’ll say “Pa-ree” instead of Paris. Doing so shows that you can speak the language like a local or that you have a real insider’s view.
• List all the illnesses and diseases you’ve contracted – malaria, Dengue fever, eight days of barfing in Kathmandu: going through the shit makes you a winner at traveling.
• Complain about other tourists.
• Say you “did” a country.
• Allude to authenticity: you know the “real” wherever. The best local restaurants and bars, local people, etc. Be territorial about them; it’s almost as if you own them, after all.
Any other tips for winning a travel conversation?