Today I kept putting the question out: “What will make me feel better?” Usually I know the answer — get in the mountains, take a nap, phone a friend. Today the answer that kept coming back was: “make a curry.” I even found myself writing those words down. I didn’t really  understand it, but seriously — that answer kept coming and coming. Well, okay then.

I already had curry paste made, so it was to the store on my lunch break for soup ingredients. Of course Carrs didn’t have everything that I needed, so after work I tried a different store. I hate two-stop shopping. I was feeling a little grumpy and regardless of the fact that the universe kept telling me to make a curry, I didn’t want to. I was simply following instructions.

When I got home, I really just wanted to sit on the couch. It was dark out, my body still felt like it was weighted down with wet sand and I just wasn’t that hungry. But I’d made myself accountable and invited a friend over, and so I got to work. Mostly chopping bright red and green vegetables, but then slicing chicken, smelling the paste as it heated up in coconut cream, and darting back and forth from my tiny kitchen to the cookbook on my table.

At some point, I realized that the goal of making the curry was to keep me in the moment, and distracted from my own thoughts. The two trips to the store also kept me occupied and busy, and got me there to buy necessities I would have put off until my head felt back to normal.

A few hours later, am I feeling better? I think so. At the very least, my evening passed without me sodden on my couch with ruminating thoughts. I kept myself busy, I was able to feed a friend who is going through a rough time, and I ate fresh, good food.

It’s difficult to stay in-a-crisis depressed with that.